The answer to this question is maybe because your attitude poses the extreme menace to his or her position.

In this brilliant world of employment, being the best makes you the foulest in the eyes of your jealous boss.

 Please take note that I did not use the word “leader.”

Your boss/ ex-boss will treat you poorly because maybe he / she feels your posture is a grave risk to their position. So, he /she has to try to level the notch and he/she can only achieve this by mistreatment and giving negative orders behind your back. If he/she does this stretched enough and wreaks sufficient impairment, it may be sufficient to drive you to resign.

Danger eradicated; problem resolved.

Or is it?

You should comprehend that, in some way, he/she is acting. He/she trying to intimidate you by discouragement to your sense of self-esteem. His/her own self-worth is pitifully trivial, so he/she has to uphold his/her position by demonstrative deception. As a clever individual you should never fall prey to such sweet talk and face negative comments given to other staff about you. You should never fall for it!

My Experience Today:

I had filed a case for discrimination, insult to my chair as Principal by direct interference of the ex- bosses and my retirement benefits. Though the case was filed in 2020, due to Covid it got delayed and came up only recently. I was supposed to inward the notices of the high court as hamdast was granted.

As always, bound by fairness and rules, even though everybody told me not to do it, I rang up my ex-boss and the school office to take permission to enter the school premises and inward the same.

I was full of excitement as I would be visiting the institute where I worked for last more than 30 years faithfully and to the best of my capacity. I wanted to revisit and gain the experience for one last time and meet my staff.

I was told on phone not to enter the school office but sit in the Trust Office and the school clerk would come and inward the order for me though I was pleasantly surprised to see the present Principal and could feel her emotions .

I COULD HAVE QUESTIONED THE AUTHORITY OF THE SAID PERSON TO STOP ME FROM ENTERING THE SCHOOL OFFICE BECAUSE TRUST AND SCHOOL ARE SEPARATE ENTITIES AND I HAD COURT ORDERS but I understood that to absorb this knowledge is beyond the capacity of such egoistic persons who feel they own the premises and can order others as per their whims and fancies.

I also fail to understand how they can be so sweet on the face but nurture such venom in their hearts.

I could have not intimated and entered the premises, met my staff and later in warded the court orders but dishonesty is not in my blood. Also, though I am not in anybody’s employment at present, the premise of disobeying orders of bosses or Ex – bosses are still not developed.

Also, I came to know that the staff was told to have very less interaction and engagement with me and inward the orders and let me leave.

Bravo! I met the Incharge of Pre-primary, a very dear friend of mine for last many years and condoled her on the sad demise of her sister. Also some of the staff who were on the other side of the Lakshman Rekha (boundary) and told them to stop there . I did not want to cause problems for them as I very well know that they had got camera access in their cells and would surely be viewing the situation. Kudos to the heads working under such bosses. I hope you can keep yourself physically and mentally fit till the end of your service career if you last that long.

How foolish can people get. I have phone numbers of all my staff and can call them up any time and talk to them. But I understand that this was a way to prove to me that private school managements have the muscle power to arm twist the employees and ex- employees at every stage.

I realized one thing today. Emotions have to go once and for all and not to be picture perfect and as per rules all the time. GIVE RESPECT ONLY IF YOU GET RESPECT. Because nobody gives a shit to your values and the sacrifices at personal levels to bring up the school. Because in brief, your boss/ ex-boss is not making you feel like crap. You are permitting the actions of your boss/ ex- boss to make you feel like crap.

ALSO, I FEEL NOW AFTER A LONG THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS NO REASON FOR ME TO THANK ANYBODY FOR GRANTING PERMISSION TO ENTER THE PREMISES AS I WAS THE BEARER OF COURT ORDERS.

BUT MY SENSE OF PROPRIETY ………….

 If you have already left the job, understand that you command your own responses and feelings when it comes to your boss/ ex- boss. Be deferential and do your job, but stop letting him/her get to you.

Conclusion:

“It is said that superiors take time each day to reflect on their motives in order to stay motivated. Indeed, we urge the same type of reflection when it comes to behavioral lapses. If bosses take time each day to honestly appraise their own behavior and motives, and to carefully reflect on the impact of their behavior on their subordinates, they may be able to really make nice instead of fake nice in the wake of a transgression”.  (Stop Making Excuses for Toxic Bosses by Shawn McClean,Stephen H. Courtright,Troy A. Smith,and Junhyok Yim)January 19, 2021